I am so excited to announce that I have just launched my FAB MOMS Start Your Own Business personalised coaching and mentoring programme. To learn more about it visit www.fabmoms.co.za.
I have been very quiet recently as I have been trying to find myself and trying to figure out what went wrong. And what did I find? That in fact nothing has gone wrong – it has all been going RIGHT!
What is all this about, you might be thinking. Well let me tell you.
About 5 months ago I got retrenched from my full-time job. Yes, I have a full-time job and I also run 2 of my own businesses. The retrenchment was quite a blow because it was not expected. I absolutely did not see it coming, not even an inkling! I was distraught. During the week after my retrenchment I went through a very emotional time, from being shocked to being angry to being sad and eventually accepting it. Once I had learnt to accept it, I was offered another position within the company and I took it with open arms. Phew – what a relief right? Actually no.
Although I was relieved at that time, something at the back of my mind kept saying really, is this what you want? But typically me, I ignored it! I started my new position and threw myself into it with everything I had, but I was just not happy. Whilst working in the new position, I often found myself saying that I should have just accepted the retrenchment and moved on. Now, I have been retrenched again.
This time, although I went through some of the emotions, like fear, sadness, feeling sorry for myself, I accepted it much easier and quicker than the last time. I find myself looking forward to putting more time into my two businesses and growing them.
So at the end of the day, this was meant to be. I am meant to do my own thing. Do what I love, which is nurture my own businesses, help other moms out there do what they love and help them achieve their goals.
This is what makes me HAPPY! This is what makes me sing in the shower!
So here’s to singing in the shower everyday from the 24th September………..
FINISH WHAT YOU HAVE STARTED
By Bob Perks
I have so many things in my file of “Unfinished Business.” Not a file in a drawer in my office, but a file I keep stored in my mind.
These things that I began over the last almost 62 years now, are piling up on me.
Some, I will admit were foolish dreams and plans that may have had a beginning, but were destined to end early without completion.
Still others sit there looking out at me waiting for me to give them life again.
Today I came across a message in a bag I carried with me to the radio station each Saturday morning as I did my live broadcast, “Success Line.”
I wish I had to the chance today to be there behind the microphone sharing the thousands of stories that came into my life at that time.
Today, I decided to dust one of and share it with you.
Maybe, like me, you, too, have many unfinished things in your life waiting for you to rediscover them before it’s too late.
From “The confidence Course” by Walter Anderson 1997)
“At ten minutes to seven on a dark, cool evening in Mexico City in 1968, John Stephen Akwari of Tanzania painfully hobbled into the Olympic Stadium, the last man to finish the marathon.
The winner had already been crowned and the victory ceremony was long finished. So the stadium was almost empty as Akwari, alone, his leg bloody and bandaged, struggled to circle the track to the finish line. The respected documentary filmmaker, Bud Greenspan, watched from a distance. Then, intrigued, Bud walked over to Akwari and asked why he continued the grueling struggle to the finish line.
The young man from Tanzania answered softly, “My country did not send me five thousand miles to start the race. They sent me five thousand miles to finish the race.”
What things have you started and never finished?
What dreams are still waiting for you in a file marked, “Unfinished Business?”
Isn’t it time to dust them off and head toward the finish line?
God didn’t create you to start this life. He created you to finish it!
“I believe in you!”
See actual footage of this man’s amazing marathon:
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Bob’s signature story, “I Wish You Enough,” has circled the globe via the internet. His inspiring true stories are based on the people he meets in his travels. In the mall, the airport, the park, or sitting in a restaurant, a simple word or phrase will often catch his attention, hook onto his heart—and from it a story blooms. Bob’s unique perspective on life makes him “the philosopher of everyday moments.” http://www.IWishYouEnough.com or via email firstname.lastname@example.org
Dedicated to mothers and daughters and the unique and special love they have and will continue to share.
A WINDOW TO LOOK THROUGH
by Brian G. Jett ©-1999
She watches through her window, her little girl at play. Memories flood back to her childhood, of her yesterdays
As she tucks her gift into bed, and kisses her precious face
She says a prayer of protection, “Lord keep my child safe.”
And as days turn months into years, she sees her little girl grow
She begins to realize that a time will come, the time when she must let go
Suddenly she hears a gentle voice– saying, “No greater love is this,
Than what you’ve done for your little girl, go seal it with a kiss.”
“Honey I want to kiss your face, but I know I can’t by phone
While looking through your bedroom window, I began to feel alone.”
“So many days through this very window, I’d watch you laugh and play
And I can almost see you tucked in bed, on those nights we’d talk and pray.”
“Mom,” her daughter uttered, “There’s something I want to say…
You may not know how many times, I saw you watch me play.”
“That window that you’re looking through, is the same one God looked in
He saw you by my bed each night, when you’d tenderly tuck me in.”
“So mom please don’t feel all alone, you know I’ll always be there…
Just like God is with you now, no matter the time, or place or where.”
Her mother paused and then replied, “Sweetheart I know you’re right…
You’re grown, married and have a child, that you now tuck in at night.”
“Mom, I better go now, I have some things I better do.”
Her mom replied, “I know it dear, you’ve got a window to look through.”
Dedicated to mothers and daughters
and the unique and special love they have
and will continue to share.
Count Your Blessings
I’ve never made a fortune,
and it’s probably too late now.
But I don’t worry about that much,
I’m happy anyhow.
And as I go along life’s way,
I’m reaping better than I sowed.
I’m drinking from my saucer,
‘Cause my cup has overflowed.
Haven’t got a lot of riches,
and sometimes the going’s tough.
But I’ve got loving ones all around me,
and that makes me rich enough.
I thank God for his blessings,
and the mercies He’s bestowed.
I’m drinking from my saucer,
‘Cause my cup has overflowed.
I remember times when things went wrong,
My faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke,
and the sun peeped through again.
So Lord, help me not to gripe,
about the tough rows I have hoed.
I’m drinking from my saucer,
‘Cause my cup has overflowed.
If God gives me strength and courage,
When the way grows steep and rough.
I’ll not ask for other blessings,
I’m already blessed enough.
And may I never be too busy,
to help others bear their loads.
Then I’ll keep drinking from my saucer,
‘Cause my cup has overflowed.
When I think of how many people
in this world have it worse than I do.
I realize just how blessed most of us really are.
I read this article the other day and thought to myself how true these words are and just had to share…………………..
THE MOST POWERFUL WAY TO TALK TO YOURSELF
By Adam Kahn
THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT possible ways to talk to yourself. One way is to reassure yourself. For example, before a party you might be feeling a little nervous so you tell yourself, “It’s going to be fine. It’ll turn out okay.”
Another way to talk to yourself is to give yourself advice or instruction. For example, “At the party, focus on drawing people out and getting them to talk about themselves.”
Another possible way to talk to yourself is to put yourself down. “I look like hell. I’m a loser.”
Or you could ask yourself a question. On your way to the party, you could ask yourself, “What can I do tonight that would make it genuinely fun?”
Of all the possible ways to talk to yourself, asking yourself a question is the most powerful. Questions direct your mind and set trains of thought into motion. That’s what makes them so powerful. Questions are generative. They generate thought. And because they are so powerful it really makes a difference to pay attention to the questions you ask yourself and to ask yourself good questions.
Asking yourself a bad question before a party, for instance, can create excessive anxiety and a negative experience. For example, “What if I can’t think of anything to say? What if I embarrass myself? What if I’m a loser for the rest of my life and I never get married and live alone and shunned by the world?” The what-if questions are creating a chain of anxious thoughts and images that produce feelings of anxiety. With thoughts like these running through your mind, you arrive at the party feeling nervous and withdrawn. You can’t think of anything pleasant to say (because your own anxious thoughts are occupying your mind) and you embarrass yourself with your own awkwardness. Keep this up and your dire predictions of a lonely life could come true — not because you are stupid or ugly or have character flaw, but merely because you never paid attention to the questions you asked yourself, and you never tried to ask yourself high-quality questions.
What makes a good question? That’s the obvious next question, isn’t it? What makes a question a good question? The answer is simple. A high-quality question has a good result. It focuses your attention on something that makes you effective. It directs your mind to something that helps you successfully handle the situation. A question is good if it leads to a good result.
Bad question: What if they don’t like me? Good question: What is something I could do right now that would make me more likable?
Bad question: What if I fail to accomplish my goal? Good question: What’s the most important thing I could do to make sure I accomplish my goal?
A high-quality question is one that produces an end-result you desire. Check in on the questions you ask yourself (you’ll have to pay attention because your thoughts are happening automatically much of the time) and then ask this question: “What is the result of asking myself that question?”
If the result isn’t good, ask yourself, “What result do I want?” And when you decide on a result, ask yourself, “What question can I ponder that would help me achieve that result?” Don’t settle for the first thing that pops into your head! Think about it. Make a list. Force yourself to come up with ten good possible questions.
Then choose the best question — the one that will produce the best result — and practice asking yourself that question. Literally practice. Ask that question many times. Get used to asking it. Make it familiar and comfortable and automatic.
There are certain times when it would help to ask yourself that question. Practice asking that question at those times.
For example, when Katie is preparing for an interview, she doesn’t want to obsess about her automatic questions, “What if they don’t want me?” and “What if I make a fool of myself in the interview?” She is fully aware that those questions don’t put her in the best frame of mind to have a successful interview.
She decides that a good question to ponder is, “How can I help these people?” That will put her in just the right attitude for an interview. That’s a question that will produce a good result. So while she is getting dressed for the interview, she asks herself that question. She ponders it. When her mind wonders, she comes back to that question. And in the car, on the way to the interview, she thinks about it some more, trying to think of ways she can help her future employers. Whenever her mind drifts to her worries, she asks herself, “Yes, but how can I help these people?” And even walking into the interview, she is wondering how she can help them.
What do you think would be the difference between Katie sitting down for an interview wondering, “What if they don’t want me?” versus sitting down wondering, “How can I help these people?” What kind of difference would she have in attitude? In her demeanor? In her level of stress hormones? In her focus — outward focus versus inward focus? I think you can see it would be a large and visibly obvious difference. The second question would make her more effective in the interview. The second question is more likely to lead to a good result.
Asking yourself a good question is a very powerful tool. What great things do you think it can help you achieve? Good question.
Ask yourself questions that lead to good results.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Adam Khan is the creator of http://www.youmeworks.com. He also blogs at crushpessimism.com and moodraiser.com, and he’s the author of the books, Self-Help Stuff That Works and Principles For Personal Growth (now being used as a textbook for a college course in San Diego, which you can take online.)
Adam has been published in Prevention Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Body Bulletin, Your Personal Best Newsletter, Wisdom, Think and Grow Rich Newsletter, the Success Strategies newsletter, and he was a regular columnist for At Your Best (a Rodale Press publication) for seven years where his monthly column was voted the readers’ favorite. He’s had his work reprinted all over the Internet and in others’ books all over the world. You can contact him at email@example.com.
This is just an extract of the 6 week online course that I offer. Some tips and tricks to help you add an extra 2 hours or more to your day to do with as you please.
Moms are always rushing around having to do lots of stuff, not having enough time in the day to finish the chores that they want to do. Most times moms forget about investing in themselves and taking time out for themselves because they “did not have the time to do it”.
I eventually got tired of saying that I did not have the time to do things. I made up my mind that I was going to make the time to get some exercise, go to the spa, have quiet time to myself, spend quality time with my husband and spend quality, fun time with my daughter.
This is what I implemented in my daily life to get that extra time.
First, I kept a diary of what I did in my typical week. I kept a booklet with me and recorded every activity I did throughout the day for a week. At the end of this week, I made a note of everything that was a waste of my time.
Second, I registered on Google and got myself a Google calendar. On this calendar I captured all the activities from my journal. I also prioritised these activities, so I captured the “Priority 1” activities first, then if I still had gaps in my schedule I captured the “Priority 2” activities, then if I still had even further gaps I captured the “Priority 3” activities.
Third, while capturing Priority 2 and 3 activities, if I did not have a gap in my schedule for these I tried to figure out how else I could get the activity done. Perhaps I could do it on another day, perhaps another time. Maybe I could even delegate the task.
Fourth, we had a family meeting and decided that mom needed some help with chores etc. So I started delegating tasks that my husband and daughter could take over from me. My daughter had just turned 4 at that time, so there was not much I could delegate to her. I did keep the tasks simple for her and made sure that she could handle it. She actually told me that she was so excited that she could “help mom out”.
Fifth, I looked at tasks that could multitask, eg. exercising and watching TV or reading a book (if I were spinning). I put simple tasks together as I found that cooking and bathing my daughter always resulted in burnt food. I also learnt a lot about saying NO. I always thought about whether the task was for the greater good of me and my family, and if it was not, I just said NO.
Sixth, I made sure that we had a routine. There were certain things that needed to be done at a certain time and in a certain way. This helped when everyone was involved. We all knew what to do and when so there was no confusion. An example of this was when we got home from school, my daughter knew that her bag needed to be unpacked and that everything that was unpacked went to their respective placed immediately. This gave me time to run her bath and to freshen up myself.
Seventh, I learnt to take shortcuts where I could. An example of this was that when I was shopping for fresh produce, I dropped off the vegetables that needed to be chopped at the counter while I was still shopping. When I had gone through the store my last stop before paying would be to collect my freshly chopped veggies. This helped my in the kitchen when preparing for dinner, I did not have to chop the veggies, just got each packet out the freezer ready for cooking.
So at the end of this I now can say that I am an expert at time management! I do hit a snag every now and then (I am not perfect), but my schedule is that flexible that I can bounce back easily without any bruises.
because I have been so successful in managing my time, I have put together a 6 week online course for other moms out there, so I can help and support them in finding that extra time like I have.
If you do implement the steps that I have suggested above, please leave me a comment and let me know how it’s working for you.
Are you still sticking to your New Years Resolution? If you are anything like I used to be, then you haven’t even started! Perhaps you have started but life has caught up with you and your goal has slipped away. I used to make at least 3 New Years Resolutions every year and very proudly said that I would start when I got back from holiday. Then it was, okay, got back to work now, have to catch up, so give me another week and I will start. Then it was, let me start at the beginning of Feb, new month, fresh start, etc. By the second week of Feb I was asking “What New Years Resolution?”.
Eventually I realised I was getting absolutely nothing done, my life was stagnant! Over the last 3 years, every New Year I made 1 resolution and that was to better myself with 1 short course. And that is exactly what I did.
How did I do it? I wrote down my goal and immediately took action to realise and achieve that goal. I took the one step towards achieving the goal on the 1st of January and eventually everything fell into place. I put up my goals in my office and looked at them every day so that I did one small thing everyday towards achieving that goal.
So now I would like to share with you what I have learnt and used towards achieving my goals. BTW, this year, I set myself 5 goals and I am proud to say that I am in the process of achieving all of them!
Join FAB MOMS on a free 8 day Goal Setting e-course. You will learn how to set your goals, how to phrase them, what actions to take and also what to do when you come up against an obstacle. This is an online course and so no matter where you are in the world you can join as long as you have an internet connection and e-mail.
The first course starts on the 27th February and the second course on the 12th March.
“Like” my Facebook fan page to gain access to this course. You will also get full support from me in the form of coaching during the course.
So as mentioned in my last article while doing your FIM you might receive some answers from the Universe. As I said, what you put out there you will get.
The best way to see these answers would be when your body, mind and soul is in flow. Refer to my article on Intuition and Trusting your Gut Feelings for a refresher on how to align your body, mind and soul.
Once you are in flow, you will find that you start receiving answers that will help you achieve your goals. For example, one of my goals is to grow my business and to do so I have to increase the number of moms who join my FAB MOMS community. One of the “answers” I received was an offer to buy an online magazine that was dedicated to mothers. What was my action? Make an offer to purchase.
So what should you do when you receive an answer – TAKE THE ACTION!
So what is a Future Imagined Memory and what difference can it make in my life, you may ask. A FIM is a memory that you would put together for yourself of your future life. Taking into account all the goals that you have set for yourself and looking into the future as if all your goals have been achieved. What would your life look like?
I learnt this from my Fairy Godmother, Donna McCallum. So what do you do?
First you look into your future and imagine that all your goals have been achieved, every dream that you have had for your life has come true and you are living your ideal life. Imagine a typical day in your life and now write down this FIM.
Remember that your FIM needs to include as much detail as possible. Also, include cues to trigger each of your five senses. Write it in first person ie. use ‘I’ and in the present tense. As you develop your story you may want to ask yourself these questions to ensure you cram your story full with all the details of sensation.
Visual Sense (sight) – What can you see?
Colours? People? Environment? Clothing? Faces? Furniture?
Auditory (hearing) – What can you hear?
Background noises? Speaking? Music? Nature?
Kinesthetic (touch) – What can you feel physically?
What is in your hands? What are you touching? How does it feel?
How does your body feel? Are you moving or still? Cold? Hot? Smooth? Rough?
Kinesthetic (emotions) – What are you feeling emotionally?
Gustatory (taste) – What do you taste?
Are you eating or drinking anything?
Olfactory (smell) – What do you smell?
Nature? Cologne or perfume? Flowers?
Now remember what I said in one of my previous posts, that what you put out there to the Universe, you attract to yourself? Well, now is the time to start putting out to the Universe what your ideal life will be like in the future. So once you have written down your FIM, start going into your FIM every morning.
When you wake up, either lie in your bed or sit in a chair that is comfortable, take in a deep breath and then breathe out, do this until your body is relaxed and then start going through your FIM. As you go through the memory, remember the cues that you have included to trigger your senses. The sights, sounds, smells, tastes etc.
Now do this for 30 days and then let it go. Stop doing it, forget about it and perhaps start another FIM if you want.
When you let it go just trust that the Universe has heard you and that the best things happen when you are good and ready.
Look out for my next post which will give you an insight into some of the “answers” you might receive whilst doing your FIM exercise.